What is self-harm and how can you support someone who is self-harming?

This Friday (1st March) is Self-Injury Awareness Day. Self-Injury, otherwise known as self-harm or self-inflicted violence, refers to deliberate and intentional actions that cause physical harm to oneself.  

These actions are often a way for individuals to cope with overwhelming emotions, distress, or psychological pain. Self-harm is not typically a suicide attempt, although it can sometimes lead to accidental death or severe injury. 

Common methods of self-harm include cutting or scratching the skin, burning oneself, hitting or punching objects, pulling out hair, and ingesting harmful substances. Individuals may engage in self-harm in private and may go to great lengths to conceal their actions and injuries. 

Self-harm is often associated with underlying mental health conditions such as depression, anxiety, trauma-related disorders, borderline personality disorder, or eating disorders. It can serve as a manipulative coping mechanism for dealing with intense emotions, relieving emotional numbness, or gaining a sense of control over one’s body and emotions. 

It’s essential to recognise that self-harm is a sign of significant distress and is not a healthy or effective way of coping with emotional pain. Although self-harm may temporarily alleviate distress, it does not address the underlying issues and can lead to physical injury, infection, scarring, and long-term consequences for mental and emotional well-being. 

If you think or know someone who is self-harming, it is important to recognise that treatment for self-harm typically involves addressing the underlying mental health issues through therapy, counselling, medication, and support from mental health professionals. Developing healthy coping mechanisms, improving emotional regulation skills, and building a support network are crucial components of recovery from self-harm. 

Supporting someone who is self-harming is hard, but it’s important to offer compassion, understanding, and non-judgemental support. Here are some ways you can support someone who is self-harming: 

  • Educate Yourself: Take the time to learn about self-harm and the underlying factors that may contribute to it. Understanding the reasons behind self-harm can help you provide more empathetic and informed support. 
  • Listen Without Judgement: Create a safe and supportive environment for the person to talk about their feelings and experiences. Listen actively, without interrupting or passing judgement. Let them know that you’re there for them and that they can confide in you without fear of criticism. 
  • Express Empathy and Concern: Show empathy and genuine concern for the person’s well-being. Let them know that you care about them and are worried about their safety. Avoid minimising their feelings or dismissing their experiences. 
  • Offer Practical Help: Encourage the person to seek professional help from a therapist, counsellor, or healthcare provider. Offer to help them find resources, schedule appointments, or accompany them to therapy sessions if they feel comfortable. 
  • Respect Their Privacy: Respect the person’s privacy and boundaries. Avoid pressuring them to talk about their self-harm if they’re not ready or comfortable doing so. Let them know that you’re available to support them whenever they’re ready. 
  • Avoid Ultimatums or Guilt-Tripping: Avoid making ultimatums or guilt-tripping the person into stopping self-harming behaviours. This can create feelings of shame and isolation, making it harder for them to seek help. 
  • Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone who is self-harming can be emotionally draining. Make sure to prioritise your own well-being and seek support from friends, family, or a therapist if needed. 

Encourage the person to seek professional help, but also be there for them as a compassionate and supportive friend or family member. 

We offer Mental Health First Aid Training Courses that will give you a basic knowledge of what mental health is and how to look after your own mental health and well-being.    

It will also give you confidence to support someone who is in distress or who may be experiencing a mental health issue and will give you advice and confidence on how to talk to someone who might be self-harming or facing any other mental illness.  To find out more about this course and others, click here or email info@bnshe.co.uk today.    

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